Steamed Eggs

When I was still living in Hong Kong and my parents were visiting, they would stay with my sister since her place has an extra bedroom. Every weekend I would go to their place for dinner, and my mom would always ask me what I wanted to eat so she can make it for me. I don't have a taste for super complicated dishes, and actually most of my favorite dishes are super simple. One of the dishes I love is steamed eggs. I told my mom that is what I would like, and for weeks, she never actually ended up making it. When she asked me again what I wanted, I just said forget about it - you asked me before, I told you, and you never made it for me.


Yesterday I finally decided to ask my sister how to make the steamed eggs and it worked out! I then told Andrew about the story above, and said, see, now I don't need to ask my mom to make this for me. I had a moment of joy and then a moment of sadness. I actually enjoy being able to rely on my mom on some things, because that's how I feel like I am still connected to her.

It's not that my mom doesn't care about me, but she simply has too many kids and limited attention she can provide to each of us. You would think that because I am the youngest (by a lot), I would receive the most attention from her. Not really true. Growing up due to a number of reasons we just never really spent much time together physically.

I know she really wants to spend more time with me and do more for me, but she also told me before that out of all her kids, she knows I am the most independent and can take care of things on my own. So we both know that at the end of the day if it's between me and one of my sisters who is having a problem, I would never ask her to come to me, and she knows deep down I wouldn't be the first priority either.

Blogging Can be Tough

I've started and paused this blog 4-5 times in the last 10 years or so. Today I finally understand what my problem is - my thoughts are wild and I can never seem to stay on topic. In any case, I hope this mini entry can get me started again. I mean, I did delete all the entries and start over again, I really should fill the space back up with the older, new me.